My introductions to BDSM

One thing I love about our relationship is that for the first time ever, I feel free.  As in I've never felt able to freely discuss my desires, wants, fantasies and such.  She and I are able to openly talk about these, and not feel ashamed, scared, or unwilling to discuss anything free of fear of repulsing, scaring or weirding out one another.  Though it has taken me time to learn this.

She has lots more experience in bdsm than I.  Coming in to this relationship, she had past relationships enjoying bottoming in bdsm.  She really enjoyed getting whipped, used, and spanked etc.   A few times I have witnessed how much she enjoys it, and wish to give her that when she desires and needs it.

So she used her knowledge of that world and has slowly brought me to enjoy, no want to be beaten.  She's taken me to places I never thought existed, and she really enjoys taking me there, I've gotten the pleasure of seeing how wet it makes her.

Our last session downstairs.

So she now, as she puts it, can't use beating, spanking, whipping as a punishment, but as a reward.  So tonight I've earned a reward for being good, and she, quite good at it, will continue to push my limits tonight, and have me worked up.

Now, the downside to not being able to punish me physically is that she's determined that the only way to punish me for being bad is orgasm denial.  And quite honestly, the threat of extended denial is a strong one for me at this stage of my sexual desires.

She's also extending my lock up times.  Typically 3 days at a  time, though I know longer stretches are coming.  We both enjoy it so much that a new device is coming.  Will update when it arrives.

Amusement

I often find it interesting what amuses her.  She's found her favorite thing in the world in the first week of this adventure.  She found she really enjoys ruining my orgasms.  Weird how the mind works.  For the better part of our relationship, she enjoyed it every time I got off, the way I moaned, let out exasperated breaths.

But now, maybe it's the new found dominant side she's found, now she loves the way I moan as I get close, then whine and get sad when she takes the orgasm away from me.

Don't get me wrong.  I absolutely enjoy the time she spends working me up.  She spends a long while teasing me in the cage.  Then that moment she takes it off, kind of reminds me of tv and movies when someone removes handcuffs how they rub their wrists, the moment it comes off and the sensation it brings.  And she plays with me, getting me leaking all over the place.

And then, just as I'm screaming in pleasure, announcing the impending rush of my seed, she stops.  Often I don't finish all the way, and beg her that there's more to come, knowing she won't let me enjoy it.  Admittedly I walk around unhappy and sad for a bit.  That's an interesting feeling, one that she's amused and I'm not.

This is the first defined period of lock up I've had.  It's only two days, well almost three as when time is up I'll be in work mode.  And this is the first time that she hasn't played with or teased me while in lock up.  Can't wait to be released, and strangely, can't wait to see what she has after.

Please do leave comments and questions if you wish.  This is a journey that I'm kind of feeling my way through.